“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines” - Robert Schuller 

Today I tried something different. I tried to be who I want to be and envisioned myself being this person. At first I started with positive thinking. I have felt stuck for most of my life. Today it felt lighter. Now don’t get me wrong its not as easy as I’m saying it. Depression consumes. There’s times where there is silence and thats when it sets in. I remember everything I have not accomplished. I start to feel like I let my younger self down. She used to dream of losing weight, being strong and having my degree by now. Instead I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, I’m trying to be strong but constantly breaking down, and I’m now starting my degree. Yesterday and today i spoke with two universities i contacted and I don’t even know if its gonna work I don’t think i can even afford it. Well as everything I do, I start on a positive note and make it negative. Someone please take my thoughts. These thoughts consume me. Well I have been doing better because I actually started trying. Before, I was just living because i was alive and honestly I’m at the point that i have grown (luckily, i know some are not as lucky) where i haven’t had a suicidal thought since 2019. This is surprising since this year literally has been the worst of all. I can say that I am proud of myself. Let me tell you, whoever is going through constant suicidal thoughts, I know it’s not much but, IT DOES GET BETTER. It took me so long to understand that. I am not at 100% but I’m getting there little by little. You can do it. As I have stated before, if anyone needs someone to speak to please message me. I am here to talk. I promise. Don’t worry I don’t have friends so I got you :). I hope someone who needs to hear it sees this. Even though my day has its constant ups and down but I can tell you I am better from last year. You can do it. Depression, anxiety, etc. will never go away sadly somedays are just lighter and better than others, but there will always be a brighter side. 

Hi. I’m Leslie. Most of you probably don’t me. I’ve had this tumblr for years. Recently, I have decided to use it as a blog to start me out and who knows where it will lead me. I want to use this platform to spread awareness in reference to mental health. I will document my process with depression, anxiety, and ptsd. My profile is a safe space and everyone is welcome. Please if you ever need to speak to someone, do not hesitate to message me. I hope you stick around and follow me for the ride. Talk to you soon. :)

alone-with-my-scars:

“She was a fighter. She really was. I’ve watched people tear her down, and then ask for her help. And she would help them. She would spend hours helping them. I’ve always admired and hated that part of her.”

— r.k. (via mrsfscottfitzgerald)

(Source: wnq-writers.com, via broken-depressed-hearts)